Life Lately, Vol. 4

October 16, 2017

Life has a (not so) funny way of falling apart so bigger and better things can fall into place.

I've been wanting to write this post since I moved out of Maryland for good, but between settling in and starting a new job, that wasn't at the top of my list. After all, life happens and more important things deserve as much focus and energy as possible.

Honestly, though, being busy wasn't all of it. I realized part of me was putting this post off because I haven't wanted to sit down and sort through all my thoughts and feelings. In a nutshell, this last month has been a rough road.

So, how did it all start? With heartbreak. I didn't see the breakup coming and, when you live together in preparation for the future, it's an even harder pill to swallow. Over three years together and still today I have no explanation. No closure. (Though looking back, I saw some writing on the wall, shall we say.)

Through all of that, I realized something: I wanted to move back home to Pennsylvania.

Then I realized it has been something I wanted to do for a few years. Years! But I figured the longer I stayed in Maryland, the more I'd grow out of feeling like I needed to move home. Never mind the fact that anytime I'd drive home to visit, I'd cry as I left to drive back to Maryland. Or when I talked to my Mom every week and heard about all the family time I was missing out on, my heart hurt. Each time I had that feeling, I told myself it'd be fine. Life would go on and home just wasn't in the cards for me.

Life did go on - and then I found myself single and making the decision to start job searching in PA. Before I knew it I was interviewing and then offered the job just an hour after leaving my interview!

It's been four weeks since I've been back with my family and I'm the happiest I've been in years.

The joy I feel to be in the land of spotty wifi, one lane bridges, roads without lines, farmland, and Steeler Sundays is unmatched. I've traded the hustle and bustle of Maryland for the occasional "traffic" jams of Amish buggies, turkeys, and tractors. My drive to work is longer than it's ever been, but I am finally part of a company I love with a President that respects and appreciates everyone. I don't dread work weeks and know this is where I belong. I'm more relaxed, calm, and care-free. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy.

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My hobbies currently include: pet sitting, missing the mountains of Utah, volunteering at a local fall festival, and enjoying family time. I've even been taking some time off from the gym and even though it's been unplanned, it's been a much needed reset.

As hard as the past several weeks (heck, months) have been, I'm grateful for one door closing and a new chapter beginning. I'm learning a lot about myself..... and others. I've learned it's nearly impossible to suppress feelings, they'll just continue to consume you. I've learned who my true friends are, and to hold them close. I've learned what (and who) deserves my energy. I've learned I'm stronger than I know. I've learned that there is nothing more important than family and there's no place like HOME.

Good or bad - everything happens for a reason. Happy Monday, fit fam! I promise there will be many more regular posts coming!


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