November 15, 2010

I feel like throwing in the white towel on life.  To say "That's it, you win, I give up!"  I am dealing with nothing but discouragement for months now and nothing is getting easier.  I feel like a deflated balloon -- with no air, destination or purpose.  It's just........ there. 
Well, I'm just...... here in MD going through the motions of job searching, rejections and a job I really do not care for.  I'm letting people get to me: at work, on the road, everywhere and that's not how I normally am.  My headaches are back in full force and I keep having sharp pains in my chest area. 
Matt and I were in Lancaster this past weekend and we are finding ourselves REALLY missing it: no traffic, the calm/quiet, nice people and (yes) even the smell of cow crap.  I know this is the "Land of Opportunity" but sheesh, out of all the opportunities I've applied for -- shouldn't SOMEONE want me?!  I'm a hard worker and have been told I have a very impressive resume but I guess that doesn't go far.
I just don't feel like myself anymore.  Where's the person I was before??  No clue, but if you find her let me know.

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